


If You Go, I Go

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Romance, Suspense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-03-04
Updated: 2001-03-04
Packaged: 2019-05-15 01:40:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 8,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14781198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Love Is Stronger Than Death. . .





	1. If You Go, I Go

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

 

Title: If You Go I Go- Part 1  
Author: Amanda Uliano  
Rating: PG-13  
Disclaimer: The West Wing and its characters belong to Aaron Sorkin and NBC et al, except for Caitlin Bartlet who is my baby (Ellie? Ellie who? I know no Ellie. In fact I refuse to acknowledge the existence of any Ellie.) Author's notes: Caitlin Bartlet was a character I introduced to the WestWingFanFic List in April. She is my version of the Bartlet middle daughter. I've written about 7 stories so far about her but this one stands by itself and the only thing you need to know about her for this is that she is dating Sam. This story is different than what I've written in the past so all feedback of any shape, size, or kind is welcomed and encouraged! Thanks! Now on with the show. 

If You Go I Go- Part 1 

"Caitlin, the party is going to be really boring..." Sam Seaborn said as he glanced towards his girlfriend who sat in the passenger seat of his car. 

"I don't care, I'm going." Caitlin Bartlet replied, looking out the window at the lights of Memorial Bridge as they approached it. 

"Are you sure you wouldn't rather have a girl's night with Donna or something?" Sam asked as he pulled into the right lane of the circle that would take him to the bridge. 

"Nope" 

Sam smiled. "You're being silly." 

"Maybe but I am not letting that barracuda anywhere near you." Caitlin said, watching the Lincoln Memorial loom ahead of them as they headed towards DC. They were returning from a show in Old Alexandria and it was almost one o'clock in the morning. There were only a few cars out on the bridge at that time and Caitlin was really able to take in the breathtaking sight of DC at night. 

Sam laughed next to her as he pulled onto Memorial Bridge. "I would hardly call Mrs. Winston a barracuda." 

"She is always giving you this look when she's talking to you." 

"What kind of look?" 

"This...this lustful look." Caitlin said, feeling her temper rising. 

"Really?" Sam asked with this boyish grin. 

"Don't let it go to your head or anything." 

"You don't like having other women check your boyfriend out?" Sam asked, trying to suppress a smirk. 

"Actually they can check you and your butt out as much as they want as long as I am there to remind them that you and your butt belong to me." Caitlin said folding her arms over her chest. 

"Possessive are we?" Sam asked reaching over and taking her hand. 

Caitlin smiled. "Can you blame me? I mean I am dating one of People's 50 Sexiest Bachelors." She laughed as she saw, even in the darkness of the car, Sam's face flush a slight red. 

Sam brought Caitlin's hand to his lips and kissed it softly. "Yeah well this bachelor's heart and butt belong completely to you." 

Caitlin smiled softly, then answered. "Doesn't change my mind about the party." 

Sam laughed. "Caitlin!" he exclaimed. 

"Face it Sam, if you go I go." Caitlin replied with a determined smile. 

Suddenly Caitlin's face drained of color as she placed both hands firmly on the dashboard. "SAM LOOK OUT!" 

  


	2. If You Go, I Go 2

 

Disclaimers- see part 1 

If You Go I Go- Part 2 

Agent Michelle Reynolds watched the scene unfold in front of the Black Suburban as if in slow motion. 

Sam's car was driving in the inbound lane to DC when suddenly a car came careening over from the opposite lane. Before there was any time to react the car collided head-on with Sam's. The force of the collision sent Sam's car flying towards the concrete side of the bridge slamming the passenger's side, Caitlin's side, into it. 

The Black Suburban screeched to a halt as Caitlin's Secret Service Detail leapt out, led by Michelle. 

Agent Harrison Zander grabbed his cell phone and quickly dialed 9-1-1. 

As Michelle raced over to Sam's car, Agent Jason Biggs went to check out the other vehicle. Michelle reached the driver's side door and tugged furiously at it, but it refused to budge. The car had become a mangled heap of metal and something had wedged the door shut. The passenger side door was firmly placed against the side of the bridge, there would be no entry that way. "Sam! Caitlin!" she called loudly, banging on the glass. Neither passenger stirred. 

Harrison joined her "Ambulance is on their way. They'll have tools to get them out." He said quietly, taking in the horrific scene in front of him. He turned as Jason ran over to him. 

"The other driver's dead." Jason said softly. 

Michelle stood staring into the car, unable to tear her eyes away from the two people inside, neither moving, both unconscious or even possibly both...dead. 

*************** 

Caitlin took a deep breath and sat up stretching, as if awaking from a long, peaceful slumber. She blinked a few times taking in the scene that greeted her. 

She was sitting in the middle of a beautiful idyllic meadow. The soft sounds of a bubbling brook greeted her ears. She closed her eyes and raised her face towards the bright blue sky, soaking up the warmth of the sun, a small smile on her face. She felt an arm wrap around her shoulders, and opened her eyes to meet Sam's. 

"Wow" he whispered, looking around. 

"I know...it's amazing..." she answered breathlessly. 

"I've never felt so serene." Sam said, holding Caitlin tighter as she rested her head on his shoulder. 

************** 

"What have we got?" The doctor called as he rushed over to meet the first paramedic crew that entered the ER at the George Washington University Hospital. 

"Male, 30-35, multiple facial contusions, broken left leg, pulse thready, breathing labored..." The paramedic rattled off as he quickly walked with the doctor towards one of the trauma rooms. 

"The call said there were two..." the doctor said. 

"Crew 84 is at the site, when we left they were still trying to get the other passenger out of the car." The paramedic answered. 

"Ok, let's go." The doctor said as the swinging doors to the trauma room shut behind him. 

At that moment the doors to the ER burst open as another gurney was pushed through. 

"Female, 25-30, tension pneumo, short breath sounds on the right, pupils fixed and dilated, broken right arm..." the paramedic began before the doctor that approached could ask. 

The doctor looked down at the woman on the gurney, then up at the three people that had followed the paramedic team in. He looked back down at his patient, realization dawning on him. "Oh my God..." 


	3. If You Go, I Go 3

 

Disclaimer- see part 1 

If You Go I Go- Part 3 

"Someone better have declared war on someone else." President Bartlet grumbled as he reluctantly opened his eyes at the incessant pounding on his door. 

"Who is it?" Abigail Bartlet asked, sitting up beside her husband. 

"What?" the President demanded loudly towards the door. 

The door pushed open and for a moment, Bartlet was blinded by the light thatfiltered in. When his eyes adjusted he felt his heart stop as he saw Special Agent in Charge Ron Butterfield standing before him. "Ron..." the Presidentqueried softly. 

"Mr. President, Mrs. Bartlet. Caitlin and Sam were in an accident this evening." Ron said, foregoing niceties. 

Abbey grabbed her husband's shoulder. "What kind of accident?" she asked, a tremor in her voice. 

"A car accident, on Memorial Bridge as they were returning from Alexandria."  
Ron answered. 

"Is it serious?" Bartlet asked, trying to remain calm. 

Ron hesitated for a fraction of a second, but the pause was not lost on either Jed or Abbey. "Yes sir. They have been taken to GW Hospital. We have a car waiting downstairs to take both you and Mrs. Bartlet there now." 

Jed sat frozen, unable to think, let alone move. But Abbey leapt up out of the bed grabbing her coat asking Ron questions as Dr. Bartlet took over. 

"I wish I had some information for you, Mrs. Bartlet, all I know is that it was very serious." Ron answered a sadness to his voice. 

Ron's tone finally spurred The President into action. He stalked past Ron, grabbing Abbey's hand. "Let's go." 

******************** 

"I love you" Sam whispered to Caitlin as he reached out and stroked her cheek. They were sitting next to the brook, just watching each other. "I just felt the need to tell you that." 

Caitlin gave Sam a questioning look, then smiled softly. "I love you too." 

"I don't know what I'd do without you." Sam continued softly. 

"Good thing that you are stuck with me then." Caitlin answered taking Sam's hand. 

"Promise?" Sam asked softly. 

"Forever." Caitlin replied. 

******************** 

"His kidney is badly bruised, but I don't think we have to remove it." Dr. Wade said as he quickly examined Sam's kidney and the area around it. 

"Well that's something" Dr. Perkins said quietly as he worked at removing shards of metal from Sam's left leg. "Dammit! The bone splintered, it's not a clean cut." 

"It's amazing these two survived." Wade said. 

"It's not over yet." Perkins answered brusquely. 

****************** 

"Where is all this blood coming from?" Dr. Sawyer asked quietly as he moved his instruments inside of Caitlin's abdomen. "Suction." He demanded one of the nurses. 

"Oh man" Dr. Cameron said from the other side. 

"What?" Sawyer asked. 

"Her spleen...it needs to come out." 

TBC

 

<


	4. If You Go, I Go 4

 

Disclaimers- see Part 1 

If You Go I Go- Part 4

The President and Abbey ran through the doors of the ER, looking around for anyone that could give them answers. 

"Mr. President" a nurse said coming up to them. "Your daughter has been taken up to surgery. I can have someone take you up to the surgical waiting room." 

"I want to speak to someone about my daughter's condition" the President said harshly. 

"The nurses up there will know better than I could tell you sir." The nurse answered sympathetically. 

The President looked at her for a moment then nodded slowly. He turned around "Abbey?" 

"I'm right behind you." Abbey answered taking in the ashen look on her husband's face. She quickly pulled out her cell phone, dialed and waited... "Leo. It's Abbey...we..." she stopped as her voice choked with tears. "We need you." 

**************** 

"Hey Sam?" Caitlin called softly. 

He looked up at her only to receive a large splash of water in his face. He sputtered a few times, then looked into Caitlin's laughing face as she shook her wet hand. Sam felt a slow, wicked smile spread across his face. 

With a joyful yelp, Caitlin got up and sprinted off through the meadow, with Sam in fast pursuit. Caitlin felt like she was flying. She had never felt so free. Suddenly she was gently tackled and she landed surprisingly softly on her back with Sam on top of her. They laughed together for a few moments, then their laughter died away as they watched each other intently. Sam smoothed Caitlin's brown hair from her face before he slowly bent down and kissed her. What began as a gentle, sweet kiss quickly turned passionate. Sam kissed her with a fierce urgency, it was as if he was afraid, afraid that somehow for some reason it...the moment...Caitlin would be ripped away. 

****************** 

"Ok I'm ready to close up." Dr. Wade said. 

"I've repaired the bone as best I can. We'll just have to wait and hope it heals correctly." Dr. Perkins added. 

"I have a feeling his entire recovery is going to be one of 'wait and hope'" Wade replied grimly. 

******************* 

"Spleen's out...dammit we have another bleeder!" Dr. Cameron exclaimed. 

"What? Where is it coming from? We just finished tying up two others." Dr. Sawyer asked anxiously. 

"I don't know. I don't know." Cameron replied as he used a cotton gauze and his instruments to look for the source of the bleed as one of the nurses kept up the frantic suction. "Come on. Give us a break...give her a break..." he silently prayed. "I can't find it." He said frustratedly. 

"Her pressure is dropping." The anesthesiologist called out. 


	5. If You Go, I Go 5

 

Disclaimers- see part 1 

If You Go I Go- Part 5 

Jed looked up from where he sat in the surgical waiting room as Leo rushed in looking haggard. 

"Leo" he said softly as he and Abbey stood. 

"Anything?" Leo asked. 

Abbey shook her head. "No, they're both still in surgery." She said, her voice tired. 

Leo walked over and wrapped both Jed and Abbey in a tight embrace. "She'll be ok. She's a fighter, just like her parents." 

At that moment Josh and Donna burst into the waiting room, followed closely by Zoey and Charlie. Zoey ran right into her mother's open arms. "Is she..." Zoey began, tears streaming down her face. 

Abbey held her close, as Jed stroked her hair. "She's still in surgery we don't know anything yet." Abbey answered in a soothing voice. 

Donna sank down into a nearby chair, unable to comprehend what was happening. She was suddenly overwhelmed with memories of the shooting and waiting for Josh to come out of surgery. Fresh tears came to her eyes as she buried her face in her hands. Josh placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, a tear escaping from his own eye. His two best friends were fighting for their lives... 

"How did this happen?" Josh asked. 

"The Service is still investigating." Leo answered quietly "There is no indication that the other driver was drunk, their best guess at this time is that he fell asleep at the wheel and lost control of the car." 

Leo turned as the door opened and CJ followed by Toby walked in. 

"Any news?" CJ asked. 

"No. Dammit what the hell is taking so long? Do they not realize who I am?" The President shouted. 

"Jed..." Abbey began but stopped as the door opened. 

"Mr. President," the woman who entered said. "I'm Dr. Newmann. I was in the ER when Mr. Seaborn and your daughter were brought in. I am here to give you an update on their condition." 

****************** 

Sam lay holding Caitlin in his arms, feeling content and sated. Caitlin sighed and snuggled in closer to Sam He wrapped his arms tighter around her and kissed the top of his head. 

Caitlin sat up on her elbow and watched him, a soft smile on her face. She reached over and brushed his hair off his forehead, trailing her fingers gently down his cheek. Sam watched as a breeze lifted her hair from her shoulder. 

Suddenly Caitlin shivered, as the breeze became colder. Sam sat up pulling Caitlin with him, noticing that the sky was getting darker as gray clouds rolled in. The breeze became stronger, and the sound of the brook changed from bubbling to almost raging. 

"What's happening?" Caitlin asked looking at Sam. 

He looked around quickly. "I don't know." He answered quietly. Then he looked down at Caitlin and suddenly, he did know. He placed his hands on the side of her face and forced her to look at him. "I love you Caitlin" he said emotionally. "And I always will." 

Caitlin looked at him, shocked by the emotion behind his words. Then a sense of foreboding overcame her and she threw her arms around him, holding him to her tight, as if she would never let go. 

"Always" he repeated in a desperate whisper. 

**************** 

"How are we doing?" Perkins asked. 

"I am almost done closing. Then we just wait and see" Wade answered. "I wonder how Bartlet is doing." 

"I don't know, but I was in the ER when she was brought in and...it didn't look good." Sawyer replied grimly. "Her injuries were extensive. I'd say her chances are pretty slim." 

"Damn" Wade muttered. "She's so young. I remember last month she was on Larry King Live, talking about her father's administration and just politics in general. She was so full of life and had a real passion for things. It's a tragedy to see someone like that cut down so soon..." 

"What the hell!" Perkins exclaimed interrupting Wade. 

**************** 

"There are too many instruments in here. Get some of them out of my way so I can find the bleed." Cameron instructed harshly. 

"Be careful not to remove the clamps off the other trouble spots. We need to make sure not to cause another hemorrhage." Sawyer added. 

"It won't matter if I can't stop this one. She's bleeding out." Cameron replied. 

"Her pressure is still dropping" the anesthesiologist cut in. 

"Dammit! We are losing her." Cameron shouted. 


	6. If You Go, I Go 6

 

Disclaimers- see Part 1 

If You Go I Go- Part 6 

"Mr. Seaborn has some slight internal injuries, a concussion, broken left leg...the surgeons were preparing to close when I last checked." Dr. Newmann. 

"So he's going to be ok?" Toby asked, from where he sat next to Donna. 

"I don't want to make his situation seem light, he will still have an extensive recovery. He's not out of the woods yet." Dr. Newmann replied. 

"And Caitlin?" The President asked. 

Dr. Newmann watched him silently for a moment. "I'm afraid that your daughter's injuries are much more extensive." 

"How extensive?" Abbey asked. 

"She has some broken ribs and a tension pneumo. She was intubated at the scene. She has a concussion. We are not sure as to the complete extent of brain damage, if any. However, the head injury is not the surgeons' primary concern right now." Dr. Newmann said slowly. 

"Then what is?" Leo asked. 

"The surgeons had to remove her spleen and Miss Bartlet is suffering from massive internal hemorrhaging. She's lost a lot of blood and they have still been unable to locate the source of the bleeds." Dr. Newmann replied softly. 

Abbey watched Dr. Newmann and read between the words in a way that only another doctor could. 

"What does that mean?" The President demanded standing up. 

Abbey grabbed his hand forcing him to look at her. Jed looked down into his wife's eyes and saw the truth in them. "No" he sobbed as he sank into the seat. He turned back to Dr. Newmann. "Are you telling me that my daughter is dying?" he asked, his voice betraying his anguish. 

Zoey gasped as Charlie's arms wound around her tightly. The room became silent as everyone turned to the doctor, hoping she would tell him no. 

"Mr. President, I don't want you to give up all hope... but her chances are slim." 

*************** 

Caitlin closed her eyes and leaned in closer to Sam trying to gain some warmth. She was so cold. The temperature seemed to drop even more and Caitlin forced her eyes open. She gasped and jumped up spinning around quickly. 

Her breathing came in quick rasps and she felt tears of panic spring to her eyes. 

"SAM!" she cried into the wind, across the empty meadow. 

**************** 

"He's gone into aphib." Dr. Perkins said. 

"What the hell happened? 1 milligram of atropine." Dr. Wade instructed. 

"Bag him, start compressions." 

The team began CPR on Sam as they watched the monitor for a normal rhythm sign. 

"Paddles" Wade said. 

The nurse prepared and handed him the paddles as Perkins continued CPR. 

"CLEAR!" 

**************** 

"Doctor..." the anesthesiologist began. 

"I know, I know her pressure is still dropping." Dr. Cameron snapped. 

"John, we're losing..." Dr. Sawyer tried. 

Cameron's head snapped up. "It's not over yet. She survived that car accident, I am not going to let her die here!" 


	7. If You Go, I Go 7

 

Disclaimers- see Part 1 

If You Go I Go- Part 7 

The people in the waiting room continued to sit in silence, except for occasional sobs after Dr. Newmann left. 

The silence was almost too much for Josh to bear. He moved to the other end of the room and flipped on the TV hoping for some kind of distraction, anything to add noise into the deafening silence. As soon as he turned on the set, he wished he hadn't. 

"I'm here on Memorial Bridge where just hours ago First Daughter, Caitlin Bartlet and White House Deputy Communications Director Sam Seaborn were involved in a fatal head-on collision. The accident occurred around one am this morning when a car driving in the outbound lane, swerved into the opposite lane and struck Seaborn's car. It took the jaws of life to remove Bartlet and Seaborn from the vehicle. They were taken to George Washington University Hospital where they are listed in critical condition." 

As the reporter was talking a picture of Sam and Caitlin from the last State Dinner flashed on the screen. They were dancing and from just the picture you could feel the love that emanated from them. The way he held her with complete ease. The way that they looked at each other with adoration and awe. Josh dropped his head and ran his fingers through his hair fighting his pain. They were like a part of each other. Sam and Caitlin were no longer separate entities. It was one word that just rolled off the tongue. And Josh knew without a doubt that if Sam knew at this moment about Caitlin's condition and was given a choice- he wouldn't want to wake up. He would want to go with her. 

****************** 

Caitlin ran through the rain that had begun to pour. She didn't know where she was or where she was going, but she was desperate to get there. 

She had to get to Sam. 

As she ran she tripped over a jagged rock and fell painfully to her knees. She looked up and the sky had become so dark that she could hardly see. She felt lost, drowning. She wrapped her arms around herself and said in a pained whisper "Don't leave me Sam." 

******************* 

THUD 

"Clear" Wade said. 

THUD 

"He's arresting" Perkins said checking the monitor. 

"Ok give me 300 CCs" Wade said. "Clear" 

THUD 

The room paused for a moment, waiting. "Nothing." Perkins said softly. 

Wade took a deep breath, quickly deliberating. He checked the time that Sam had been down...there was still a chance. "Again. Clear!" 

****************** 

"Suction" Cameron demanded as a nurse wiped his brow. 

Sawyer worked furiously within Caitlin's abdomen, removing unnecessary instruments, searching diligently for the elusive source of the bleed that was slowly seeping the life out of her body. 

"God don't do this, give her a cha..." Cameron began. 

"Look" Sawyer interrupted. 


	8. If You Go, I Go 8

 

DIsclaimers- see part 1 

If You Go I Go- Part 8 

Toby stood up as he saw a commotion outside. He walked to the door and quietly went outside. He walked over to a nurse to find out what was going on. 

"Where's Toby going?" CJ asked quietly. 

Leo looked towards the door. "I don't know" he replied as he looked back at Jed and Abbey. Jed had his arm wrapped around Abbey, who had her head on his chest. Their faces were full of anguish. He didn't know what they would do when...no if, if. Leo refused to give up all hope. 

The door slowly opened and everyone turned to see Toby walk back in, his face ashen. 

"What?" Josh asked sitting up. 

"Sam...he...he went into cardiac arrest. They've been unable to get him back." Toby answered, his voice thick. 

******************* 

Caitlin forced herself to get up. She had to keep moving, she refused to give up. She would find him. She would find Sam, she had to. She wiped the wet strands of hair that were plastered to her face out of her eyes. Instead of rushing frantically, she proceeded with slow, careful steps. The rain continued to pound, but Caitlin pressed on, she wouldn't be deterred. 

She looked up and blinked several times. She couldn't be sure, but it looked as if the clouds had broken in a small area. She followed the light that managed to filter through the breakage with her eyes to a small hill. She took a deep breath and headed off into the direction of the light. 

****************** 

The monitor continued its incessant, high shrill wail. 

"Clear!" Wade said, placing the paddles firmly down on Sam's chest and shocking him. 

THUD 

Again the room waited for a sign of life. 

"I think we've done all that we can. He's gone..." Perkins started. 

"Wait" Wade demanded, staring at the monitor. 

****************** 

"Look" Sawyer said interrupting Cameron's prayer. 

Cameron looked down to where Sawyer's instruments were frantically moving. Sawyer looked up at him briefly. "I think we've found the source." He said. 

"I hope you're right." Cameron said. "I just hope we're not too late." 


	9. If You Go, I Go 9

 

Disclaimers- see Part 1 

If You Go I Go- Part 9 

"They're both going to die" Zoey said softly as she gazed off at nothing. 

"We don't know that Zoey. It's not over yet." CJ said, trying to sound optimistic, but failing miserably. 

"Maybe its better this way." Zoey continued as if she hadn't heard CJ. "They love each other so much...they shouldn't be without each other. They wouldn't want to be without the other." 

"Zoey" Charlie whispered softly to stop her words. 

Zoey just closed her eyes and leaned into Charlie. 

Abbey looked at her youngest daughter, tears streaming down her cheeks. She was trying so hard to be strong for Jed, for Zoey. But she was a mother, and her little girl was lying somewhere in this hospital in pain. Every part of Abbey screamed with the agony she was feeling and the emptiness that was threatening to overtake her. 

Jed reached over and took Abbey's hand. He saw the pain she was in, saw how she was about to break. They were about to lose their Caitlin, lose a part of their hearts. Jed swallowed back a sob, as he turned to face the wall, hiding his tears. 'Dear God why?' he asked silently. 

The door opened slowly and a nurse stepped through looking nervous. 

"Any news?" Josh asked anxiously. 

"No, I'm sorry." The nurse replied slowly. "Does anyone need anything?" she asked softly. 

Jed looked at his wife and youngest daughter then closed his eyes as he spoke in a pained voice. "A priest. Could you get us a priest?" 

************** 

Caitlin continued toward the stream of light. She felt her body grow warmer the closer she got to it. She knew she was going in the right direction. Everything would be ok once she got there. The rain would stop. The pain would go away. 

Caitlin struggled up the hill, keeping her eyes on the break in the clouds where the light was coming from. She had to get there. Finally she made it to the top and stopped to look at it for a moment. This was it. She took a hesitant step forward. Then another. Then another. She was almost there. She could almost feel it. A few more steps and... 

"Caitie" 

Caitlin whirled around to see Sam standing behind her. She stared at him for a moment then let out a relieved, happy sigh. With a burst of energy she ran towards him, and ran away from the light. 

************* 

"I think we've done all that we can. He's gone..." Perkins started. 

"Wait" Wade demanded, staring at the monitor. 

Perkins looked down at the man on the table. He didn't finish his statement. He decided to give his friend and colleague one last moment of hope. Losing a patient was the worst thing for a doctor to go through. But there are just times that no matter what you do it isn't enough. 

"There!" Wade exclaimed triumphantly. 

Perkins turned and stared at the monitors in confusion. His eyes widened as he saw the line, which had become flat, suddenly bounce with evidence of a heartbeat. 

"He's back." Wade said. 

************** 

"I've got this bleed stitched up." Sawyer said. 

Cameron moved his instruments within Caitlin's abdomen looking around for any other possible hazard areas. "It looks like the bleeding has stopped." He said softly, hesitantly. 

Sawyer looked towards the monitors hopefully. "How are her vitals?" he asked. 

The anesthesiologist looked at him, then at the monitors, then back at him. "They're...they're improving" he said, his voice laced with awe. 


	10. If You Go, I Go 10

 

Disclaimers- see Part 1 

If You Go I Go- Part 10 

President Bartlet sat with his head in his hands waiting for the priest to arrive. A priest to give his little girl last rites and maybe Sam. 

The President's head snapped up. "Sam" he said out loud. 

"What?" Leo asked looking at him confused. 

"Has anyone called Sam's family?" the President continued, hoarsely. 

"I called Cathy and she is getting in touch with the Seaborns." Toby said softly looking up at the President. 

The President nodded, then turned quickly as the door opened and a man in scrubs walked in. 

"Mr. President, I'm Dr. Wade. I was one of the surgeons working on Mr. Seaborn." The man said. 

"Is he..." Josh began but couldn't bring himself to finish. 

"It was touch and go for a while there. Mr. Seaborn went into cardiac arrest. It took a while but we were able to get him back." 

"Thank God" CJ said softly. 

"I think that's exactly right, we really thought...we had lost him." Wade slowed down as the door opened and another man in scrubs entered. 

"Alan" the man said, acknowledging Dr. Wade. 

"John" Wade answered watching him closely. 

"Mr. President, Mrs. Bartlet." The new man said. "I'm Dr. Cameron, one of the doctors working on your daughter." 

Jed and Abbey stood up, watching this man intently. 

"She..." Cameron shook his head for a moment. 

"Oh God no." Donna sobbed. 

"No, no." Cameron quickly said. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply...I'm just still in awe. I have to be honest we really didn't think your daughter would make it through the surgery." 

"But she did?" Abbey asked softly, grasping Jed's hand tightly. 

Cameron nodded. "Yes she did. It was amazing but at one point she just...came back. She's still unconscious and it's not over yet, but this was one hurdle she got over." 

Cameron turned to see Wade staring at him. "What?" Cameron asked. 

"When did she...come back?" Wade asked oblivious to the stares he was getting from the other people in the room. 

"4:17. I remember because I had looked at the clock." Cameron answered, unsure of why Wade was asking. 

A shocked smile slipped across Wade's face as he shook his head as if clearing it. "That's incredible." He whispered. 

"What?" Jed asked. 

Wade turned to look at him. "That's the exact time we got a heartbeat from Mr. Seaborn." 

Cameron gave a slight laugh. "That is incredible." 

"No it isn't" Josh said from his seat, looking up at them. "That's Sam and Caitlin." 

******************** 

"Where did you go?" Caitlin asked into Sam's neck as she held him tight. 

"I don't know." He answered, kissing the top of her head as he smoothed her hair. 

She pulled back slightly and looked at him. "Were you scared?" 

Sam shook his head as he stroked her cheek. "No. No I wasn't. It was...I can't explain it. But it was almost perfect." 

"Almost?" Caitlin asked. 

"You weren't there." He whispered. 

Caitlin smiled, "That'll teach you to go somewhere without me." 

Sam returned her smile as he leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. 

"Well it's ok." Caitlin continued, cupping his face in her hands. "Because next time if you go I go." 


	11. If You Go, I Go 11

 

Disclaimers- see Part 1 

If You Go I Go- Part 11 

Donna stood next to Josh in Sam's hospital room. As soon as Sam was settled in ICU, Josh made a beeline for his room, heedless of the objections from the nursing staff. Now Josh stood next to Sam's bed, hardly recognizing his best friend. 

"You know how I feel about hospitals Samuel. Never liked them to begin with, certainly didn't like spending the exorbitant amount of time I did that never to be forgotten May. And now you have the nerve to make me come back to one." Josh said hoping that the younger man would just open his eyes and inform Josh that Sam had done the same for him. That Sam had sat at his bedside, prayed, pleaded, bargained. 

"Josh" Donna said quietly, putting her hand on his shoulder. 

"Wake up Sam." Josh implored. "Just wake up." 

************** 

The President and Abbey sat in the pristine hospital room, watching Caitlin intently, looking for any signs that would assure them she was going to be all right. 

The constant hums of the machines monitoring Caitlin's vital signs and the soft breathing coming from the President and Abbey were the only sounds filling the room. 

"Caitlin" Abbey said softly leaning forward in her chair, taking Caitlin's hand. "It's Mom. Dad and I are here. It's ok, you're going to be ok." 

"Of course she's going to be ok. She's my daughter. She's a Bartlet." The President said with forced confidence. 

Abbey looked towards the monitors, then back at her daughter. Nothing. Not a jerking of her fingers, not a flutter of her eyelids. Nothing. 

Just the constant hums of the machines, doing little to comfort the anguish within the room. 

************* 

Caitlin and Sam slowly made their way down the hill, hand in hand. They were both silent, thinking. 

The sky had regained its bright blue color. All traces of gray were gone. The wind returned to a gentle breeze and the temperature had risen again to a comfortable warmth. But the memory of the harsh conditions were not erased from Caitlin's memory. 

"I was scared" she whispered. "I still am." 

"You don't need to be." Sam reassured her. 

"I can't lose you Sam." Caitlin said turning to him. 

Sam pulled Caitlin into his arms. "You won't. Remember, we're stuck with each other. No matter what we do, or where we go, we go together." 

"Promise?" Caitlin asked, echoing Sam's earlier question. 

"Promise. We go together." 


	12. If You Go, I Go 12

 

Disclaimers- see Part 1 

If You Go I Go- Part 12 

Toby sat next to Sam's bed, watching the younger man intently, not saying anything. 

"Toby" CJ said softly coming over. "Donna, Josh, and I are going to the cafeteria to get some coffee while Leo checks on Caitlin. Why don't you come?" 

Toby shook his head. "I don't want to leave him alone, just in case..." 

CJ smiled softly. "If Sam could see you now...you would never be able to pretend that you don't care about him." 

"I wish Sam could see me now." Toby answered. 

CJ placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "He's going to be ok. This is our Sam we're talking about. Do you think he'd let something like this keep him down? No he'll be awake in no time, driving you crazy with his over exuberant imagery and lack of punctuation." She smiling, fighting back tears. 

Toby felt a small smile slip across his face. The smile left his face though as he spoke, "But what if Caitlin doesn't..." 

"I don't know." CJ answered, losing the fight against her tears looking down at Sam. "I don't know." 

*************** 

"Mr. President?" 

The President looked up from his position next to Caitlin's bed to see a priest standing in the doorway. Bartlet stood shakily as the man approached. 

"I'm Father Murphy. I'm chaplain here at the hospital." 

"Father, thank you for coming." The President answered as Abbey and Zoey looked on. 

"How is she?" Father Murphy asked. 

"Still critical." Abbey answered wearily, squeezing Caitlin's uninjured hand. 

Father Murphy walked over to Caitlin's bed, placing a comforting hand on Zoey's shoulder as he walked by. He came to a stop next to the head of Caitlin's bed. As he gently placed his hand on Caitlin's head, Bartlet came to stand next to him. 

The Father closed his eyes and began to slowly speak, "Our father, who art in heaven..." 

*********** 

Caitlin sank down into the grass, suddenly exhausted. 

"Caitie?" Sam questioned as he sat down next to her. 

"I'm so tired." She replied softly. 

Sam reached over and caressed her face. "Are you ok?" he asked. 

Caitlin nodded. "I just want to sleep." She answered, her eyelids drooping as she spoke. 

Sam watched worriedly, as she lowered herself onto the grass. He lay down beside her, wrapping his arm around her waist. 

Soon Caitlin's breathing became even and Sam realized that she had fallen asleep. From the looks of it a deep sleep. 

Sam watched her intently, fighting his own fatigue. He felt an urgent need to watch her, to watch over her, to make sure she was still with him. 

But soon his own weariness became too much and sleep claimed him. 


	13. If You Go, I Go 13

 

Disclaimers- see Part 1 

If You Go I Go- Part 13 

Josh awoke slowly, disoriented. As his eyes focused he realized he was in the hospital ICU waiting room. The sun was streaming brightly through the windows. He looked down and saw Donna curled next to him on the couch, her head nestled on his lap. He stroked her hair softly. 

"Josh?" CJ called out to him softly. She was standing up from her position in a nearby chair. 

"Any word?" Josh asked in a whisper. 

"I don't know I fell asleep too. I'm going to have to brief the press though." She answered wearily. 

Josh gently lifted Donna so he could slide out from under her, then placed her head back on the couch. "I'll go check on Caitlin. You'll check on Sam?" 

"Yeah" CJ replied as they headed off towards the respective rooms. CJ reached out and squeezed Josh's hand as they stopped in front of Sam's door. 

"Don't give up hope Josh." She said. 

"We can't lose them Claudia Jean." He answered. 

CJ just smiled understandingly and nodded before entering Sam's room. 

"Any change?" she asked Toby and Leo who were in the room. 

"No" Leo answered softly. 

"That's better than him getting worse though, isn't it?" she asked. 

Neither man answered her. 

"Leo, I'm going to need to brief the press." CJ said. 

"I know. Do it back at the White House. You, me and Toby are heading back over there." Leo said. 

Toby's head snapped up. "Leo..." he began. 

"Toby I don't want to leave either. But we have a country to run. The President isn't going to leave and Josh wouldn't be any good to us there. It's up to us." He replied, his voice emotionless. 

Toby looked down at Sam, then back at Leo. He nodded curtly. 

"Where is Josh?" Leo asked. 

"Checking on Caitlin." CJ answered. 

"She was the same last time I checked a few hours ago." Leo replied. 

************** 

"Come in" the President replied as a soft knock came at the door. 

Josh slowly entered, his eyes immediately falling on Caitlin. "How is she?" 

"The same." The President answered, taking Caitlin's hand. He looked over at Abbey who was asleep on a chair, Zoey's head on her shoulder, also asleep. "The doctor checked on her an hour ago." 

"What did he say?" Josh asked coming to stand on the other side of Caitlin's bed, reaching out to softly stroke her cheek. 

"He said it was a good sign that she made it through the night, but that she needs to show some improvement soon." He answered, his voice catching. He looked down at Caitlin, watching her chest rise and fall with the help of machines. "My little girl" he whispered. Suddenly, the tears he had been holding back since he had heard about the accident overwhelmed him. He brought Caitlin's hand up to his mouth and kissed it gently as his body wracked with sobs. 

Josh watched helplessly as his boss, the President of the United States, cried with heart wrenching anguish. He was the most powerful man in the world, yet there was nothing he could do to save his daughter. 

Abbey awakened at the sounds of her husband's sobs. She got up, in the process waking Zoey, and walked over to Jed wrapping her arms around him. Jed turned in her arms and buried his face in her stomach as he cried. Abbey stroked his hair, her own tears falling down her face. Zoey walked over to her parents and wrapped her arms around Abbey's shoulders from behind, watching her sister intently through her tears. 

Josh watched the scene, feeling like an intruder. He closed his eyes, trying to give the pained family some privacy as he fought his own fear and sadness. Josh opened his eyes and bent to gently kiss Caitlin's forehead. He prepared to make his way out, when Abbey's voice stopped him. 

"Josh?" 

Josh turned around slowly. 

"Can you...can you stay with her while Jed, Zoey and I go get something to eat." She asked. 

"Of course." Josh answered. 

"Abbey..." Bartlet began. 

"Jed, please. My heart is sick over Caitlin. I don't have the energy to worry about your health as well." She said softly, imploringly. 

Bartlet watched her closely, then nodded. He stroked Caitlin's hair and kissed her one more time. Then he stood up wrapping his arms around Abbey and Zoey. "Thank you Josh." He said softly as the trio left. 

Josh watched them leave, then sat in the chair the President vacated. "Ok sis." Josh said, swallowing around the tears clumped in his throat. "It's time for you and I to have a little talk." 

***************** 

Sam woke up, reaching for Caitlin. He sat up in a panic when his hands encountered only air and grass. 

He was about to call out her name when he saw her sitting on a rock at the edge of the brook. 

He walked over to her, coming to a stop next to the rock she was sitting on. He stood in the brook, letting the water wash over his feet. 

"We don't belong here." Caitlin said without looking up at him. 

"I know" Sam answered softly. His sleep had been filled with voices and images that he couldn't place. Imploring words, vivid pictures, yet he still didn't know who or what they were. "The thing is I don't know where we do belong." 

"I keep hearing voices. I can't really understand what they are saying but...when we first arrived this place seemed so wonderful, but now...where are we Sam? How did we get here? Where did we come from?" she asked almost desperately. 

Sam turned to her, meeting her eyes. "I don't know. I don't have any answers. Just questions. I know that there is some place that we are supposed to be. I just don't remember where that is." 

Caitlin watched him closely for a moment, then stood up and wrapped her arms around him. 

"I wish I did." He said softly, holding her close. 


	14. If You Go, I Go 14

 

Disclaimers- see Part 1 

If You Go I Go- Part 14 

"Ready to go?" Leo asked Toby, who was still sitting next to Sam. 

"Is someone going to stay with Sam?" Toby asked, reluctantly getting up. 

Leo smiled softly. "Donna and Josh are still here. Sam won't be alone." 

Toby nodded. "I'd like to see Caitlin before we leave." He said softly. 

"Me too." Leo said. "I also want to see how the President and Abbey are holding up." 

Toby gently placed his hand on Sam's head one more time before following Leo out of the room. 

************* 

"You can't do this Cait. You are too important to us, to everyone." Josh said as he sat by Caitlin's bed. 

Donna had woken up and joined him in Caitlin's room along with CJ as the Bartlet's were getting something to eat in the cafeteria. 

"I know everyone has been coddling you, but I'm not going to do that." Josh continued. "I'll do whatever it takes. I'll appeal to your sense of loyalty, I'll guilt trip you. Anything to get you to come back to us." 

Josh turned slightly as the door opened and The President, Abbey, Toby and Leo entered. He took a deep breath, looking back at Caitlin. No response. She just laid there, still. As if she were just a shell. Finally all of Josh's pain and frustration snapped within him. "Dammit!" he cried. "I mean it Caitlin. Enough is enough. You had your big moment. Now just open your eyes. You and Sam both. It's time to come home." 

************* 

Caitlin quickly pulled away from Sam, looking around her as if searching. 

"Caitie?" Sam asked, grasping her shoulders. 

Caitlin turned back to him, her eyes slightly glazed. 

"Caitlin!" Sam said again. "What? What is it?" 

Her eyes focused and she looked into Sam's blue eyes. "I remember" she whispered. 


	15. If You Go, I Go 15

 

Disclaimers- see Part 1 

If You Go I Go- Part 15 

"Josh" Leo said forcefully, at Josh's outburst. 

Josh dropped his head into his hands. He was about to apologize when he saw a flicker of movement out of the corner of his eye. His head snapped up, as everyone else moved closer having noticed the movement as well. 

No sound emanated from anyone as they waited, waited for another movement to confirm what they thought they had seen. 

"Caitlin" Abbey called softly. 

Suddenly, Caitlin's uninjured hand jerk as her eyes flew open. 

"Caitlin" The President said coming to stand next to Abbey beside Caitlin's bed. He reached down and took her hand as Abbey rang the call button. 

Everyone in the room moved in, letting out little sighs of relief. 

Caitlin blinked a few times to become accustomed to her surroundings. She tried to open her mouth to speak but realized that it was clogged. There was a tube down her throat. She looked up as she heard an unfamiliar voice. 

"Welcome back Miss Bartlet." 

Caitlin looked at the strange man standing over her. He was wearing a white lab coat and glasses over his blue eyes. 'Just like Sam' Caitlin thought. 'Sam!' her eyes widened. She began to struggle against the hands examining her. 

"Caitlin, you need to lie still." The man said. 

"Caitlin please honey it's ok" Abbey pleaded. 

But Caitlin continued to struggle, she had to get to Sam. She reached for the tube in her mouth and prepared to yank at it. 

"No, no!" the man said, gently grabbing her hand. "Caitlin this is helping you breathe." 

Caitlin freed her hand from his grasp and clasped his wrist pulling him down to her. 

Dr. Cameron looked into Caitlin's eyes and saw an urgency there. He decided to follow his instinct, since Caitlin's progress to this point had been unusual anyway. "Ok Caitlin. I'm going to take out the tube. When I tell you to I need you to cough for me." 

Caitlin nodded gently, a look of gratefulness in her eyes. 

"Dr. Cameron..." Abbey began, but stopped when Caitlin gently took her hand. Abbey looked down and saw the same urgency that Cameron had seen. She just smiled down at Caitlin and then moved aside to give Cameron room. 

A nurse entered and helped Cameron raise Caitlin into a sitting position. Cameron disconnected the tubes from the machine, as everyone watched intently. 

"Ok Caitlin, now cough." Cameron said. 

Caitlin closed her eyes and coughed as Cameron quickly removed the tube from her throat. When it was out, Caitlin collapsed back against the bed, coughing a few more times. 

Cameron placed his stethoscope over Caitlin's chest. "Caitlin I need you to take a few deep breaths for me." 

Caitlin shakily drew in a deep breath and Cameron listened closely, smiling softly at the sound that greeted him. 

"Sounds good." He said softly. "Now..." 

"Sam" Caitlin croaked out. 

Josh looked over to Toby, unsure of what to tell Caitlin. 

"Caitlin..." Leo began. 

"I need to see him." Caitlin croaked again. 

"Caitlin, you're still weak, you just woke up..." the President began. 

"I need to see him." she said again. "He needs to know." 

"What honey" Abbey said. "What does Sam need to know?" 

"He needs to know." Caitlin repeated again, trying to make them understand. "He needs to know where I am." 

The President looked at the doctor confused, wondering if this was some effect of the accident. 

"Caitlin, Sam's still asleep." Abbey said softly. 

"Please" Caitlin implored. She turned to Dr. Cameron. "Please" she asked again desperately. 

Cameron looked down at her, then up at the nurse. "Get a wheelchair." He said. 

"Dr. Cameron" Bartlet protested. 

"Mr. President, something pulled your daughter and Sam through the night. I would love to say it was just medical expertise but I don't think so." He looked back down at Caitlin. "This may be just what they both need." 

Bartlet looked from Dr. Cameron to Caitlin. 

"Please Daddy." Caitlin whispered. "I have to." 

Bartlet closed his eyes and squeezed Caitlin's hand. 

The nurse re-entered the room with a wheelchair. Everyone moved aside giving them plenty of room. 

Dr. Cameron and Abbey helped Caitlin out of bed and into the wheelchair. She winced with pain, but settled into the wheelchair. Dr. Cameron slowly wheeled Caitlin out of the room as everyone followed. As they approached Sam's room, Cameron spoke. 

"Caitlin, I want to warn you. You and Sam were in a very serious car accident. Sam has some extensive cuts and bruising." 

Caitlin didn't respond. 

Abbey opened the door to Sam's room to allow Cameron to push Caitlin through. He wheeled her over next to Sam's bed. 

Abbey hovered near by, in case the sight that greeted Caitlin was too much for her. 

But Caitlin didn't say anything. She just reached out with her uninjured arm and took Sam's hand, bringing it to her face. 

"Sam" Caitlin whispered. "I'm here. Come to me." 

Everyone watched in awe. Caitlin didn't seem distressed, or saddened. She just sat there as if she were waiting. 

The minutes ticked by and Caitlin continued to sit and watch Sam, occasionally saying his name. 

Abbey looked at Dr. Cameron imploringly. She knew Caitlin wanted to be with Sam, but Abbey was worried for her daughter's health. 

Dr. Cameron nodded softly and went to take a step towards Caitlin when a soft moan came from the bed. 

Donna gasped as everyone turned to Sam and Caitlin. 

"Sam" Caitlin said again. 

Sam moaned once again as his head rocked gently on the pillow. Slowly his eyes opened and immediately found Caitlin's gaze. 

Everyone began to laugh with relief and whisper among themselves but Sam and Caitlin were oblivious. 

Sam reached out and stroked Caitlin's cheek. Caitlin closed her eyes and smiled, feeling his hand on her cheek. She opened her eyes to see Sam watching her intently. He opened his mouth and the room became silent waiting to hear Sam's voice. 

In a hoarse whisper Sam said to Caitlin. "If you go I go." 

The End.


End file.
